Look Forward and Backtrack

When someone asked you about the things that you look forward in the future, what do you usually think or do??

I think the best way to know the answer to that question is to backtrack. Right? This is your chance to think about the things that you’ve done and the things that you wished you did and the things you wish you didn’t. I think the things that you would be looking forward in the near future, that can be tomorrow or the next minute from now, is based (or biased?) from the things that happened in your past.

So when someone ask you this, seize that moment, backtrack as much as you can. It’s one of those times in your life wherein you’re allowed to stare into nothing and think of the things from the past. It’s not something that happens everyday.

It’s nostalgia– always, but surely, the answer to this question is something that you don’t get from anywhere. It will open your eyes to things that you love the most– or the things that you wished you’ll do. So look forward and backtrack.

🙂 Btw, thanks Jane! :*


I don’t know

I am one of the most unsure person living in this world. I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what I don’t like. I’m not sure of every decision I make. I usually make a lot of mistakes and regret them because I don’t know what to do when I encounter them. They usually tell me that I should listen to my heart– because somewhere deep within me, there would be a voice that would guide me where I should go or what should I do. But I never heard that voice. All I hear were deafening silence and it scares me. Maybe the voice inside me was never formed, there was never something inside of me that would guide me.

I think with the exception of one thing, I was never really sure of everything. Maybe I’ll know what I wanted for so long when I’ll encounter it. As of now, it’s just a pure haze of nothingness. I can’t even decide what my favorite color is or what handwriting should I use. I get confused by the simple things that I should decide on my life.


I stared at the empty chair beside me. Without even taking my eyes away from it, my mind slipped into that long illusion that you would be there– sitting, like the way you did before. I look into your eyes, and they smile at me. As if telling me to relax. And the old spark was there. the one that I have been looking for along time.

But then, the teacher called me, snapping me back to reality. Answering dumbly his question that I didn’t even bother to understand.

I sat there. Felt your presence, but then, this was all a never-ending illusion.


September 2019
« Apr