Trying to learn Japanese

Since ACTION started, my Japanese lessons started also– it’s part of the training I am undergoing right now. And it’s amazing, how fast everything is going and it seems I’m not really good enough to catch up with everything so fast. The new words, the new sentence patterns and all the things that you can associate when you are learning a new language. I think I have this not so good learning process that I really consumes a lot of time before I’d be able to understand everything in it. Though, it is a different story when I learn new Programming language. They are really different, but programming language is easier compared to learning new language.

I guess my love for the Japanese language is still there. I’m really amazed by this language from the very beginning. I’m a bit jealous when my friends took a subject way back in college that is about the Japanese language. As a result, they were teaching me the basics and a few words and sentences with it. I guess, it was helpful today. Though I know I still have a lot to learn.

And the up coming mock exam is getting on my nerve. Geez. I’m supposed to be studying right now, but here I am on the net, surfing and a little bit irresponsible. But, nope. It’s not yet too late.


Cold Coffee

She sat there, watching aimlessly as people around her walk faster than the normal. Life in the city is faster compared to that that you can find on the countryside, and what’s more appealing is the fact that people won’t mind you when you live here. People has their own life to catch up that they don’t have the time to dwell on other people’s life. And it suits her. It’s the best cure to what she’s afraid of. She doesn’t like being watched or being talked about, she has this paranoia over things about her.

She stared at her cold coffee. She’s been sitting outside the coffee shop for almost an hour, and her coffee covered all the stages from hot to warm to cold to super cold. She didn’t know what came into her mind why she went inside that coffee shop. It’s been a year since the last time that she visited here. And the coffee triggered memories, memories she tried to hide–no, memories she persuaded herself never to remember again.

People drink coffee occassionaly or frequently on different reasons. Some people needs the caffeine that it offers, others need the smell or whatever happiness they can get from it. And for her, it’s a hobby. She loves coffee, next to books. She can consume three to four cups of coffee in one day. It gives her happiness that she didn’t find in her life.

Growing up alone because everyone thinks she’s too smart to be someone’s friend. Or, never been dated because men thinks she’s like a star they can’t conquer– but deep inside her is a soft person waiting for the right one. She want to know what it would feel like being loved. That feeling that makes the protagonist or antagonist lose his or her mind. She wonders what makes people do crazy things when they are in love. She want to know.

It was a rainy afternoon and she regretted getting out of her bed that morning. This is the best weather that she had waited for, she wanna lay in her bed with a coffee on the side table and read books or watch the news whole day. She sighed at the traffic jam building in front of her. It’s impossible for her to go home. She decided to enter the coffee shop and found a table for two that was empty. Not so bad then. She sat there and stared at the wall. It was painted in brown with some sort of small paintings hanged.

“Can I share?” a smiling face appeared in front of her.

“Y-yes” she stuttered.It was quite weird, that feeling. She wasn’t even sure where did that man came from.

She didn’t know how it happened. How he appeared suddenly in front of her, that was the beginning of something new. Something that she thought was impossible. She was ready not to find that feeling that they called love.

It started swiftly, faster than she can imagine. They had something special, and it made her happy. It was something unexplainable– the books were not that consice or they didn’t give justice to what she feel. It was something that can make any person mad, insanely happy and all the extreme feelings that anyone can get when they’re inlove. It was something new and it’s making her mad.

Her lifestyle changed. Everything about her changed , and the major changes happened when he moved in. He was some kind of perfectionist, which makes her fall for her even more. She was challenged to make him happy. Perfectionist are difficult to please, and she loves difficulty. He helped her to stop drinking coffee, he said it was not good for her. She eventually did stop and made a lot of improvements in her life.

They had a lot of plans. Good plans in the near future. They would purchase a real house, get married and have children. Until now, she still wonders what happened in between. Suddenly, everything went from right to wrong to worse and the next thing she knows he already slammed the door. It was terrifying, the coldness and the pain. The book failed to tell her that love can also kill the happiness that it had given you and then consume the life out of you. She was ready to die at that moment to escape the pain. But, she couldn’t.

She blinked. Tears were clouding up her eyes. The baby. It was the most painful part. It was the only thing that made her sane, but he didn’t made it. That baby. The baby that she planned to be the center of her universe, that baby that will make her whole again. She planned not to tell him about it but fate has it’s own way of making everything wrong. It was also rainy when that baby was taken from her forever, she slipped on the road while walking to the grocery. She bleeded and lost consiousness and woke up at the hospital.

He was there, sitting and crying. It was enough to make her realize that they lost him or her. His tears and the frustration in his voice when he asked her why she didn’t told her about it. It was enough, enough to make her wanna die even more. Everyone was taken away from her. Everything that was so special to her. It was frustrating. It was life-shattering.

Losing the baby had some good things on it too, they started communicating. They started to forgive each other,but, it wasn’t enough to make them love each other. No, she was sure, they’ll just hurt each other. Not now, they can’t love each other the way they did in the past. It was over.

She sipped her cold coffee. It tasted good. So good– it was making her dizzy. She missed it. She wanna go back to her old self– and maybe this is the only way, she’ll start picking the pieces little by little. And maybe, just maybe she’ll be able to start a new. Someday, somehow she can start the day with a cup of coffee–again.

Different Perspectives

I don’t know what kind of perspective should I have to be able to go on with my life. I don’t know which is harder: holding on or letting go?

A question popped out of my head a few days ago, I was over thinking and over analyzing my situation, when the question hit me. Who is stronger: the one that moved on or the one that still holds on? On the side of the one who let go and moved on– it takes a lot of courage to let go something that you really love. And the pain and loneliness that a person feels is somewhat unbearable, letting go of someone is not as easy as you see it in the movies. And the worst thing is, when you’re experiencing it, it feels like all the pain you’ve been running from are there–ready to make you regret loving someone. And they’ll beat you up until you acknowledge their existence in to your life. And as what the quote I’ve heard from a movie says, “You don’t get over the pain; rather, you just learn to live with it.” Maybe, this is all about it, when you finally let go, it means that you’re acknowledging the pain and at the same time, it’s high time to fix your life.

But, not all people has that perspective.  On the other side of the coin, there’s someone there, holding on to the promised love that the two of you made. He or she is not the weaker partner: it takes a lot of courage and patience and all the virtues you know to hold on to someone who turned his or her back on you. No. It’s not a weak person’s capability. When you hold on to someone and they are not there anymore, maybe it means that you still know or you still believe that they would remember their promises to you and to the relationship that you have. Holding on and never letting go is not something that a weak person can’t also do.

It’s hard to pick the side which I want to be. I don’t know. Maybe it’s not that easy when you know you’re holding on to something that you know is worth the wait and the pain. Love is not something that anyone can give you, sometimes, it comes with a lot of pains and hardships, but for sure, if it’s worth it, you’ll never get tired. 🙂

Babe’s New Puppies

My dog Babe’s got pregnant and gave birth without us knowing it–although when she gave birth, that was the moment that we were informed she was truly pregnant. It was really difficult to detect whether or not your dog is pregnant.

I was playing with her and was cuddling her when I seemed to recognize the changes in her body. I wasn’t even sure that she was indeed pregnant.

Then, I went to Cebu to continue my training. And then my Mother called telling me that my Babes had given birth to 3 puppies–sadly one of them died. That was really sad and scary for me. I was afraid, my baby won’t be able to survive.

Happily she did. Thank God she is safe. I’m happy for the 2 babies that she brought to this world. 🙂


My new addiction is here. 🙂

I’ve been collecting some Spongebob stuffs for quiet some time now.

It started with an oversize shirt  to pillows and now… ERASERS!

Yep, I’ve bought some cute erasers.

Here are they.. :3

Jane’s Post Birthday Celebration

Happy birthday Jane!!!

thank you for being always there! 🙂

God bless always girl!

I’m so happy that God made sure that the four of us would be a trainee of AWS.

Thank you.. thank you girl..

Here are some pictures of our post birthday celebration. 😀


The way a woman should be called

Women are complicated, so to say. We have our own preferences when it comes to dress, shoes, being address to or even on how we should be treated. It’s a matter of woman-perspective. And sometimes, it has something to do with what we want. Sometimes, we get too over reactant on things around us because sometimes it has something to do with how the men should act.

Take for example that certain day that we had an argument on my preference on not being called ‘Miga’. In my language, it means friend, a female friend. But sometimes, it is used sarcastically, in which sometimes it is not good for me.

The male on our groups were fussing around because I was stereotyping the males who calls a woman ‘Miga’ as someone who cannot be trusted.

But for me, it has nothing to do with that. I prefer to let someone know that there are fine lines separating a stranger and my friends. I am not the most friendly person you’ll ever met, but I’m not a bad person also. 🙂 I’m just a woman so sometimes, I’m really complicated. 🙂

Avoiding Stress, Enjoying your life

Every person has their own way of dealing with stress but sometimes coping with all the challenges and all the stress that you need to face is not enough. Sometimes, you need outside help in order to be stress-free. So, how will you do it? Sometimes, when you go to parties from work you feel like all the energy is out of your system, so how will you enjoy the party? If the party is your stress-reliever, then you should have some party enhancers that will help you energize your system.

Sometimes, it is good to take some supplements to make yourself relax. Everyone deserves some break sometimes and supplements are good to relax you. K6 herbal incense has a very good soothing effects on party goers like you. They are herbal supplements so it means that you are sure that they are all natural and when we say natural–it means they don’t have side effects.  Also good spiritual powders are  also advantageous for you, it means that you will have all the relaxation that you need.

If you are really want to get those herbal medicine to enjoy your life– then you should go to Herbal City LLC, they are the best provider of mood enhancing herbal medicine. And they are a legal company.

I think everyone deserves a good relaxation especially that everyone of us has a very tight and stressful schedules.


January 2012